being pregnant makes me a moron

I have much evidence to support this new finding.

1) In the week preceding my trip to Belize, Casandra (my trip co-coordinator) and I sat down to count the money we would be bringing to the country. I would count the stack first, tell her how much was supposed to be there, and she would double check. Then I'd triple-check, because I'm neurotic. Now, I got As in calculus and advanced calculus, so I have to blame my new-found mathematics retardedness on being pregnant. Casandra asked me, "How much is supposed to be here?" to which I'd respond, "$560." She gave me a quizzical look and said, "Britton, seriously. There is $611 here." I handed her the next pile, which was supposed to have $1200 in it, and she just sighed, informing me that it actually only contained $1130. WTF?

2) As most of you are aware, my entire medical school life is contained within this beautiful tablet computer- all my notes and even my textbooks. I frequently back-up my data to an external hard drive to make sure that in case I catch a nasty virus or something, all my academic documents are safely stowed away elsewhere, probably in quadruplicate. Well, since being in Belize, I hadn't backed up my data lately (i.e. like 4 days). I commented about this realization to my friend who was studying next to me and even made a note in my Google Calendar to back-up my data that evening. A few minutes later I was about to enjoy a delicious cup of hot cocoa. I stirred up the mixture and tossed the stirrer in the trash. I picked up the cup and then one of two events transpired... what occurred in my mind, and what actually occurred. According to Kara, I spilled my cocoa on my computer accidentally... and I mean ALL OVER IT. In my mind, as if in slow motion, I picked up the cocoa, studied it carefully, and gracefully poured it over my keyboard, making sure not to miss a single key. I was trying to let my dear computer know just how much I appreciate it. My computer responded by dying. Then, I continued my out-of-body and definitely out-of-normal-personality state as I sat calmly by, watching all signs of life disappear out of my computer. Kara, on the other hand, sprinted to the bathroom to get papertowels and began cleaning up the mess. I just sort of stared at her. Then, almost freakishly, I turned to her and said, "Well, it seems as if it has died... I guess I'll go to the IT department." She just stared at me, completely perplexed. I walked over to IT, and that's when the shock period ended and full-on panic mode set in. My heart rate must have been 120 as I realized that I had just lost all notes I had taken for my new class and that I would be completely screwed over if my computer were really dead. The IT representative asked me how he could help, to which I responded, "AN EMERGENCY HAPPENED! MY COMPUTER IS DEAD!!!!!!!" I explained what happened, and THANK GOD, I have accident insurance on my system, so he swapped out my hard drive (which, THANKFULLY escaped my hot chocolate bath time) into a loaner tablet computer and sent off my system to HP, who will either 1) repair it or 2) give me a new computer.

3) And yesterday, I was reflecting on my perpetual state of extreme fatigue and nausea/vomiting to Jordan, and tried to explain that my mother had gone through a similar experience of unending N/V when she was pregnant with my sister. Instead, what came out of my mouth was, "Yeah, my mom was pregnant from the moment she found out until the day she delivered."

So, I'm ready to agree with Jordan... Baby Zucchini is much more like a parasite than an adorable human being at this point- he/she not only steals my food and then makes me vomit up whatever he/she doesn't want, but he/she also steals my intelligence and common sense. However, the baby apparently hasn't stolen my ability to cook- I just made some homemade spinach-artichoke dip for a dinner party we're going to tonight, and in fact, Jordan just told me, "if this dish cooked, cleaned and brought home $2000 per month, I'd consider replacing you."